Closing the Book

I really wish I'd kept up the momentum I'd built with this blog, but a funny thing happened after my last post--I fell in love. I met the new woman-of-my-life, Sarah, just days later, on New Years Eve 2007-2008, at a party where I knew no one other than the friend who asked me to accompany him. Now here it is, more than 2 years later, and Sarah and I are married, have a new home in the Berkeley area (where Jackson and I moved in June 2008), and--amazingly--a 7-week-old son, Max.

How my life was rebuilt in such dramatic fashion so quickly is a source of wonder to me. Rox (and her ending) will always be a part of me, but Sarah has taken so much of my heart that I'm back to living in the present again (and have been since the moment I met her). She's everything I'd always wanted in a woman--sexy, smart, easy to get along with, flexible, open-minded, experimental. Her persona allows me to be 100% myself, and our life together is joyous and fun and (thankfully) bereft of all the drama and conflict that characterized my 13 years with Rox. I couldn't be more thankful for how things have turned out.

And, it shouldn't go without noting that Alex and I got past that bump in the road over the house proceeds (which made it possible for Sarah and I to buy our house, remodel it, and take time off to enjoy our little Max). We now get along really well, and while her life is still unformed in many ways, she's on the road to something--she has a man who treats her with respect, a job she loves (as a baker), even if it pays crap, and some attainable goals. I wish her nothing but the best.

I also managed to steer Owen in a positive direction more than 3 years of continued video game addiction. Just in time, before he completely ran out of life insurance funds as his sister did, he found out about the Vancouver Film School and its video game design track. It's an expensive program that required me to co-sign a loan in order for Owen to be allowed into Canada with sufficient funds to pay tuition and living expenses. It's a bit unnerving having that loan sitting out there, but it's paying off in important ways, as Owen discovers himself, pursues something he loves, and actually gets trained to go into the world as a hire-able commodity. Go, Owen! I consider getting him that last mile into the school--which required some Herculean efforts on my part--to be my peak as a step-parent. (UPDATE 9/14/10: So much for my enthusiasm. Owen completely dropped the ball, left school to pursue a dream that was vapor (without telling me), and now is basically homeless and penniless in Portland, with me facing having to make loan payments to cover his ass. Ugh.)

What all this means is that as the dust has settled, we've all seemed to recover from Rox's tragic demise nicely, thank you. (UPDATE CONT: Well, except for Owen--although I believe he's finally becoming a man by having to face up to his decisions.) Encouraging signs abound, and that includes for Jackson, who is in love with his new little brother and, even though he misses his old life terribly, is doing a bang-up job of adapting to his new life in the East Bay. His grades are high, his sports participation is healthy, and new friendships are forming. Plus, he has a basement man cave to play video games in. What more could a kid want?

Maybe this whole picture is what you had in mind, Rox. Maybe you knew you were holding everyone back, and the only way to free up the logjam was to take yourself out of the picture. I wish it wouldn't have had to happen that way, but I'll take a happy ending in whatever form it comes. Consider that your legacy, Rox--maybe there was more rhyme to your reason than any of us ever imagined.